Trying to bounce back...

Well...
Lots of changes have happened, and I'm trying to get back in the swing of things. One thing is certain - I miss trying to write stuff. How to spell, punctuation, just getting thoughts out of my head and turned into words seems difficult all of a sudden.
*Grin* I still want to say all of the sudden, but a teacher eons ago told me that was wrong. *Grin* Sometimes I think that was wrong, but I digress.
Still dreaming about my trip to Bricktown. For a business trip, it was incredible. It's nice to see I still enjoy things sometimes.

Getting Stronger

I'm a serious fan of the last 'Rocky' movie - 'Rocky Balboa'. If I was paying attention, the movie was written by Stallone himself, and if that's true... He's a wise man.

I'm a particular fan of his speech to his son, and later, himself. Something to the degree of 'Life isn't about how hard you can hit, it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. It's about how much you can take, and keep moving forward.'

We're moving into gear at work - spring isn't far away. I'll admit, I might have hoped it would never come, but I'm getting a little more confident about our chances every day. To steal another movie line, "I think it all depends on a lot of things we don't know yet." Without worrying about surviving every spring, I know life would be easier, but I wonder if an easier job makes for a more fulfilling one?

Anywho...

I was out of town last weekend, and I'm going to be out of town next weekend, so I'm definitely looking forward to spending some quiet time at home. I'm itching to get back to work on my stories. *Grin* Yes, I did say stories. Plenty of ideas - now I just need to get down to business.

Review

Employee review time comes around annually at work. I always take the process seriously, but this year, it sparked a more personal evaluation of myself than the company ever intended. I don't feel like that's a bad thing - but I do, for the firrst time, feel like the process has followed itself through, and is truly complete.

I see what changes I need to make in my actions and attitude, and implementation is nothing more than an act of willpower. In other words - I'm back.

It has been nice to live the past month or so and pretty much do as I please with my time. Don't get me wrong, I still try to do my chores and meet my obligations, but I've also built models, watched too much T.V. and surfed the internet too long. Perhaps it has been a working vacation - but it has felt a bit like being on holiday.

Speaking of which, I'm off to La Crosse, Wisconsin for several days next week to attend an Organic Farming Conference. I know it sounds a bit odd for a chemical applicator, but there are several reasons for deciding to attend. *Grin* I have to admit, I'm even a tiny bit nervous about what I'll find, which is odd, but it's a new frontier for me both professionally and personally. It should be an interesting time.

Home? I want to say something about home. For a visit, for whatever... I find myself wanting to be there for a while. Can't say as that's always been the case.

Peace and Love,

Eric

Chillin' like a Hundred Dollar Bill

I'm not getting a lot done this weekend, but I have to admit I'm having fun doing it. My wife is off seeing family - I'll join her Tuesday - but for now I'm on my own. I have to admit, I had hoped to make progress on my writing, but it seems model truck building is the order of the day, at least for now. Both are hobbies, but one represents a hope for future productivity while the other is all about R & R. Building models has been my way to step away from myself for a long time.

Stangely enough, it's easier for me to talk about this than it is my writing, but I started an exercise routine Thursday. My tummy might be a bit bigger than I'd prefer, but all in all I've always felt like I could hold my own with most in my industry. Nonetheless, my doctor told me to bulk up a bit if I hoped to survive into the future, so... It has begun.

I enjoyed the previous season of 'The Biggest Loser' on TV. Particularly in the early episodes. the contestants showed so much heart - both for themselves and each other - it was really enjoyable to watch. It was more than watching fat people sweat - it was watching them all turn around to go back for the slowest guy and help him up the hill. So, when it came time for some conditioning of my own, I turned to Gillian and Bob (Or, more accurately DVDs of them) since I'd seen and more or less approved of their methods while watching the show. *Grin* All I can say is it's easier to keep up with them from the couch than the floor.

Even I know I'm dancing on the edge of nurning out, as far as my career goes. It was a hard year - longer than anything I've faced in quite a while. A lot of factors combined to make it the year it was, many of which were beyond my control. That doesn't make it any easier to want to go through it again. That being said, we're just getting into patching up the battle damage to get ready for next season. One thing I have learned with all confidence...

If you slide out the door to avoid a good fight - you're always the guy who slid out under the door to avoid a good fight. Next year will be a grand war.

I'm off to meet up with the wife Tuesday - and likely won't be near the computer. Allow me to send all of my hopes to you now for a very Merry Christmas.

Peace and Love,

Eric

Wow

Harvest season turned out to be an adventure. It seems like everything does for me - but I really hadn't seen this one coming. I mean, how hard can it be to dump a few trucks and push the occasional button on a grain dryer? The better question is, how naieve can I be???

I kept thinking in my head, "This isn't my fight - I'm an agronomy guy." The truth is, the cooperative system is full of issues, but in its ideal form, it teaches the employee base that everyone does everything, and no one is better than anyone else. I don't know... Enough nights spent next to the grain dryer doing the job I probably would have attributed to someone else made me believe this premise isn't so bad. Now, if the rest of the world would take a minute and think about it, we might be somewhere.

My personal interests took a real beating during all of this. Obviously, it's hard to keep relations with my wife at the level they should be while for all intents and purposes being gone for a month. I believe I'd just met Jean Valjean in my reading of Hugo's Les Miserables, although I hadn't gotten far enough for him to be named by name. My personal writing pursuits? Well... I actually made just a bit of headway, beginning the layout for a story that has been in my head for some time.

I'm a little the worse for wear physically. I saw the doctor just before the beginning of season for my shoulders (left, in particular, but both in general), and was offered some anti-inflammatories and the advice that I should bulk up a bit. The pills dont' help much, so... I'll have to do what I can for the other A.S.A.P.. But all of my bodyparts are still firmly attached, so... I'd like to think there are always possibilities.

I'm starting the off-season by entering a diecast truck-building competition. No prize, except for bragging rights and sticking my nose back into a community I've enjoyed from time to time. I'll never win, but... I enjoy the experience.

The Kid

It's kind of a coincidence Disney's 'The Kid' is on TV today, not long after I opened the printed copy of my annual Christmas Story.

You know, in a life full of hopes and expectations that never meet with reality, it sometimes seems like nothing can be more bothersome than a hope or expectation that doesn't see reality. It seems like it digs a little more when the expectation is a simple one - we're all used to seeing our big grandiose dreams never see the light of day, but somehow, when one of the daily little things doesn't make it...

Man...

I've watched similar episodes in other people's lives this week. *Grin* I'm far from alone - one would just like to find something happier to notice once in a while.

Well, a new mission this week. I'm going to try to take a picture for the blog again, and although I'm sure I'll focus my thoughts on something...

I'm going to see if I can't find something else.

Playing With The Boys

I finally broke down and went to see the doctor today. My shoulders have been snapping and cracking in places I didn't think they really should, so I finally went and got myself checked out (Credit to my wife for making the appointment ;) ). He was a very nice young man, my assumption both by his name and appearance was he originated from India. I felt like the examination was thorough, but his diagnosis still tickles me.

*Grin* I'm paraphrasing a bit, but for all intents and purposes, he told me, 'You're just a little guy. People in your line of work are big guys. You need to get big, you know?' In other words, although he gave me some anti-inflammatory pills, he also recommended a regular upper-body workout program.

Man... I was tired this morning. The night shift on the dryer was 14 hours, and I just hadn't gotten the transition to the night shift completed. It was another one of those situations that hurt, but the satisfaction of completing the task was pretty immense.

Today was a good reminder - even I can get told I need to turn my game up a notch.

To quote Colonel Young from SGU: 'A lot of work, that one...'